I..... am.... a.... sleepy..... snail.....
Because of my disabilities and learning style, I think and learn slowly. It is just who I am. Snails are slow... I am slow, and thus, I am like a snail (a cute one, of course).
BUT.... that being said, I am also an eager beaver! I love to work with others and to challenge myself to be the best I can be! I desperately want to keep up with the crowd! What I notice, however, is that the faster I try to think or learn, the sleepier I get, and the slower I actually go. It's quite frustrating! I become a SLEEPY SNAIL.
My mind sometimes says "Paula, I want you to complete that paper as fast as you can!" and I eagerly respond "OKAY!".... and I'm off! I've got this big, silly grin on my face, I picture myself like Rocky, racing up those stairs, but I am suddenly overcome with exhaustion. I begin to realize that my mind is moving slower... and slower.............. and slower. I look at the people around me.... they are flying past and they do not appear to be tired at all. I'm disheartened, but I still try because the eager beaver in me wants to succeed! I push and push until basically, I collapse. That is when I sleep for nearly two days straight. And I get crabby. So now I guess I am a sleepy, snaily, eager, beaver, crab....... man, I look good.
My point is, I've realized that pushing myself too hard and trying to be as fast as others is not helpful; in fact, it only slows me down.
I want to clarify what I mean by "pushing myself too hard". "Pushing myself too hard" means trying to write a paper by the same deadline that students without disabilities are held to. I am referring to tasks that other people find easily manageable or just a little bit difficult, but that for me (with my learning style and disabilities) are incredibly challenging. In school, I was constantly in denial that I needed extra time to complete assignments. I would work incredibly hard to meet that deadline, but as it approached, I would always succumb to the fact that I just wasn't going to make it. It hurt me to hear my classmates say things like "Man, we've got two whole weeks to write this paper; this is going to be easy!" As much as I tried not to internalize those statements, I must admit that I absorbed them and felt a little sting every time. I knew it would be hard for me. Pushing myself too hard to meet the same deadlines as other students ALWAYS ended with me in tears, my paper looking like a total mess, and with the sleepy snail in full force. I would crash........ sleep for two days.
Perhaps you or your child experience this same thing? Many children (including those with developmental/learning disabilities) are influenced by their peers and want to achieve at least as much as their classmates. Just to add insult to injury, our society prizes those children who work fast and get a lot done! I remember reading the teen section in our newspaper growing up and how it only highlighted students who got straight As, while being the star of the basketball team, while volunteering on the weekends, while solving world hunger, etc., etc....... (I exaggerate). Never ONCE did the newspaper highlight a teen who moved a little slower, who was simply proud to have gotten himself to school that day, or who felt excited to have written some of his notes as fast as the teacher spoke that day. I want to argue that those kids are just as incredible as other children and that they have a lot to offer!
Personal benefits of going at our own pace:
- Seeing things others might not because we took the time to ponder and to look deeper
- Doing quality work! When I go slow and steady, I produce great work; work that I am proud of!
- Actually learning! When I go too fast, I do not learn; I think only of the next topic I need to get to. When I slow down and really think about what I'm doing, I learn!
- Going slow and steady may allow us to draw more connections to things we've learned in the past
- Taking time to learn and to review information commits new learning to long term memory more efficiently than short, quick spurts of learning
- When we go at our own pace, it means that we are being true to who we are; we are treating ourselves with respect and kindness and that is something to be proud of!
Societal benefits of going at our own pace:
- Thinking through things a little longer may allow us to come up with novel solutions and/or ideas
- Because we require time to absorb information, we are often good listeners! Being an active listener will make us an asset to any team!
- People with disabilities are generally hard workers. Going at our own pace does not equal laziness; it means that we will have put in a lot of time and energy to produce GREAT work!
- Those of us who move a little slower due to a disability often know our strengths and limitations really well. This can save a lot of time for management as we often evaluate ourselves and develop our own strategies to improve on areas of weakness
- Because we have faced challenges around our need for extra time, we can sympathize and/or empathize with other people's challenges and can offer support
Are you, or is someone you know a snail? Do you become a sleepy snail in the face of societies need for speed? Or, like me, do you sometimes become...... a sleepy, snaily, eager, beaver, crab?!?!
Please share :)
